Hold On

We all face trials in our lives, whether outside of ourselves or within.  Sometimes, the battles we fight within ourselves are more troubling and more scarring than the ones we fight on the outside.  I think the idea of recognizing our personal inadequacies, especially when they glare us in the face, can have a crippling effect on who we want to become and where we want to be if we aren't careful.

I was reading an article this morning from one of the leaders of our church, and he referenced Peter's experience in the Bible when Jesus was walking on the water toward them and told Peter to come out on the water and meet him.  He started to go, but became afraid and started to sink.  He cried out to Jesus, who caught hold of him and took him to the boat in safety.  Now think about that--Peter was an expert fisherman.  He'd seen plenty of storms before, and surely winds and waves fiercer, higher, and stronger than those on the sea that night.  So what was it that caused him to sink?  The scriptures say "he was afraid", and cite "little faith" and "doubt" as some of the factors (see Matthew 14 for the rest of the story). 

Now, if a great man like Peter was called "thou of little faith", that means I have a long way to go.  But Jesus understands.  He gets the fact that I'm an imperfect person and won't be able to live up to expectations all the time (especially self-imposed expectations!  Goodness knows I give myself a hard time about a lot of things..).  But that doesn't mean I don't try.  That doesn't mean I don't meet Him half way, or 10% of the way, or half-a-percent of the way.  Hold on.  He's coming to rescue you, whether it's the winds and the waves that have you worried, or it's the doubt, fear, internal struggles you've got.  Just hold on.

Much Love,

Elder Spendlove

*Comment below or on my facebook: How do you find the strength to hold on?

A Pearl of Great Price: Part VI

Once I had gathered myself and the mingled, bitter-sweet taste of Shiloh's sacrifice for me had subdued enough for me to regain my faculties, I remembered where I was sitting: at the gates of the City of Promise!  A fluttering, palpitating surge of joy and fulfillment coursed through my whole body as I leapt upon my miraculously-healed feet and gazed in wonder at the luster of the place for which I had been searching for so long. 

"I'm here," I whispered to myself, still in disbelief. 

Images of my journey flashed before my eyes:  the night of the sandstorm that left me without shelter, but that had introduced me to the Wanderer's kindness; the day I nearly died of thirst, but was once again saved; when I had the opportunity to help Jesse and Ruth stave off the jackals and return Shiloh's kindness; the blazing sands and circling buzzards that had been my only company for so long; the vicious brutality of the bandits and the icy grip of fear that had clutched my heart as doom drew near, only to find my Savior once again rescuing me--as I reflected on how far I had come, the joy of my arrival at this blessed place grew ever more potent.

It struck me that all those who had gone and returned in vain must not have believed that the destination would be worth the trial to get there.  They must not have been changed by their experience, nor had they grown or become anything different than when they had left. As I reflected thus, my mind caught hold of another idea: perhaps the destination wasn't where the growth was meant to come anyway!  Perhaps, I thought, the reason this place was so blessed was because when men and women who ventured here arrived at these gates, they came tired, beaten, and spent, but they had learned the true meaning of love, of sacrifice, of the joy of selflessness. I had!  I had learned, out in the wastes, that to give of oneself is to receive; that when you strive when your arms are too weary and reach for the seemingly unreachable ideal, you grow to become something more.  I had overcome so much--only, of course, with the help of the Wanderer.  The joy had been in the journey.

I was lost in thought for quite some time, basking in the luminous joy and unspeakable gratitude I felt merely standing where I was.  Presently, I floated back down from my flight-of-fancy and strode through the ornately wrought gates and into the city.

It was so beautiful.